1. |
Why?
06:17
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Too many questions to ask
Quit trying to find all the answers
Could you come closer and listen?
So I can stab you in the back
Hey why are you so paranoid?
I just always have your back
My words will try to protect you
Even if my actions never do
It’s not some competition
Even if you tend to lose
Why did I end up here?
Was It something I had said?
Was I too far away from the nest?
Or did I ever really leave?
Why did I end up here?
Did I force myself to fly?
Only to jump off the cliff
And descend to the depths and die
You’re always pessimistic
But I’m not much to talk
Hey wait I thought we weren’t competing
Let’s move past that and try to walk it off
I’m always trying to listen
But you don’t seem to do it well
You scare me when I’m near you
Now come on and get out of that shell
You’re always trying to hide
Don’t try to argue against the facts
Why did I end up here?
Was I pushed for far too long?
Was it my quiet demeanor?
Did I just not look the part?
Why did I end up here?
Was it never meant to go this far?
Am I about to be left behind?
Or am I about to leave?
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2. |
You scare me
07:17
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We never seem to talk
I can never get a word in
You never seem to speak
I’m just too busy to have the time
You always hide away
Open up and it gets slammed shut
We need to deal with this
I would but you always freak me out
You scare me
It’s my only shield against you
But it still hurts all the same
Hey it’s not some stupid contest
Why trade my grief with shame
You scare me
You’re clearly the monster
That I need to run from
But I’m always trying to help
Hey don’t ruin the story you’re no fun
Why don’t you show up on your own?
I don’t know a soul in sight
You need to come out of that shell
There’s more to it than that
Why can’t you be less pessimistic?
Can’t say you’re making this an easier night
We need to deal with this
And yet every problem here seems to involve you
I scare you?
You never pay attention
Do you look into the mirror
And understand the monster
That’s looking back at you?
I scare you?
Every phrase comes out with passion
Not a single word restrained
Every grievance that I have
Comes down your lane
Why do I scare you?
Why do I scare myself?
Why do I scare you?
Why do I scare myself?
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3. |
When?
03:42
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It used to be so fun
When we would joke between our classes
I seemed to have fun
When you’d spout such stupid phrases to the masses
And yet I sit here reminiscing
On the days that are long gone
We sit here in the past
Cherry picking all the memories on the branch
And the poison never lasts
The anti-venom is applied
At least we tell ourselves that
To take it all in strides
Do you know what time it started?
Do you know what year it was?
Do you know when it all declined
And the rafts drifted apart?
When did it start
To nosedive towards a drain?
We had everything to work towards
Going against all the pain
Why did it end
with a pitiful lull?
Just a couple disagreements
And you’d abandon it all?
There was always disapproval
When we’d start to make a song
I tried to contribute
But you said every phrase was wrong
And yet I sit here reminiscing
On the scars that are long gone
Disgusted by the past
Cherry picking all the memories on the branch
And the venom starts to spread
Until the remedy’s applied
We say it never really hurt
And just take it in strides
Do you know when it started?
The poison running through me
When did we drift apart?
I just a saw a movie with you last week
When did it start
To nosedive down the drain
We never had a chance to
Persist through the pain
Why did it end
With a pitiful lull?
The unbreakable bond
Being oh so razor thin
When did this start
When did it end
I just want to know when it all began (x4)
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4. |
2015
07:27
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I’ll play piano
And you play guitar
I have a roommate with a bass
I think I’ve made my case
We need to get a drummer
But none of them have a set
Save up the cash
And we’ll be on our way
It was a blank canvas
the guitarist had the key
To a name that would cover us
A name that would help us hide
We thought it was edgy
We thought it was cool
But at the end of the day
The band was just a plank of wood
And we set up the room
Would play every night
And we tried to record
Not even sure of what we had just played
Do you remember 2015?
We had all the laughs
And all we would do is scream
Do you remember 2015?
Where the room we played in
Was never really clean
And cops knocked on the door
We didn’t hear it since it was going to the beat
And then our bassist left
His grade weren’t hot so his mother brought him back
And then there were two
We kept on going till we passed out on the floors
Started butting heads
Passive aggressive glances going left and right
Do you remember 2015?
Where we thought we could
Share the same dream
Do you remember 2015?
Where I wrote a few songs
And that was the end of the team
I never tried to act bitter
You never tried a compliment
I gave my heart to it with the hours on each track
You never wrote songs and couldn’t have my back
It was so lonely
And I’m still lonely
And yet we kept trying
To make it work
I would write in secrecy
You’d spout some nonsense in response
I’d get impatient
And you’d tell me to chill
But you don’t write a song
You just perform for a thrill
Do you remember 2015?
My songs were too much
Of an adjective you’d give that week
Do you remember 2015?
The songs that you wrote
still need lyrics and a melody
Man it took so long to get us out there
We did an open mic after about 5 months
It took so long to get out there
It took 3 years until we got our songs online
Though I can’t say the days were wasted
Still trying to figure out how live out life
School was in the way too
Assignments overbearing us left and right
Do you remember 2015?
We still argue
About what songs we should sing
Do you remember 2015?
You disassociate yourself
But expect to still be in
Do you remember 2015?
You haven’t changed a day
Since the band started
Do you remember 2015?
I guess I’d have to say that
I’m about the same
I think it’s time to tell the truth
You’ve gone a chosen a different path
And I’ve gone and stuck to mine
I hope you won’t have any hard feelings as times pass
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5. |
Who...
01:47
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You spent 7 minute 28
talking to someone we don’t even know
I wish you’d cut the crap
And give me a name (but who?)
I couldn’t put a face to this
One-way conversation
These songs are here
To avoid retaliation
I know it sounds like a cop out
I know I sound like a lying prick
I would try another way
But I’m still feeling sick
I’m not expecting anyone to listen
I’m not expecting some kind of retort
This wouldn’t be here now
If this wasn’t a last resort
I’m not sure if there’s someone
Who needs to hear this
I don’t’ need a figure
To hang all my problems on
I might be the villain
Steering you towards your end
But sometimes the villain is a
Hero who couldn’t save them all
I didn’t frame this as a
Call for help
I just needed time to
Understand what I felt
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6. |
...dies tomorrow?
05:59
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It happened in a flash
One second I’m driving home
The next I was crushed between two mini-vans
and now, I can’t figure out what to do next
It’s been half a year
Since I walked out of that
It’s been half a year
Since death creeped back in my mind
I still drive a car
And I still get on the roads
Every time I’m behind the wheel
The end of my life is finally known
I don’t think I have a tomorrow
But I need to plan for it
Need to forget about my sorrow
I’ve got to save up for some useless shit
I hate that I have some regret for not faking an injury
I knew that I shouldn’t have gone for my backpack first
I still know the song that was blasting through the stereo
I still know every comment that the others told me
It’s not that bad
Did you call the cops
I couldn’t even
See you stop there
The leak’s not bad
We could drive away
Now we’re stuck here
Till police decide to arrive
It’s all your fault
Are you ok
Why weren’t you careful
Did you call the cops?
It’s all your fault
Did you get a ticket
It’s all your fault
It’s all your fault
And it happened oh so fast
But I could recollect every second of each and every scene
It wasn’t life flashing before my eyes
I was asking myself if I should live or die
But I’m still here
And I guess I’m happy to still be around
But I’m just wondering if one small change
Could have taken it all away
That broken plastic
That shattered glass
Those busted tires
The impact of the crash
That broken plastic (It’s not that bad)
That shattered glass (Did you call the cops?)
Those busted tires (The leak’s not bad)
The impact of the crash (We could drive away)
That broken Plastic (It’s all your fault)
That shattered glass (Are you ok?)
Those Busted tires (Why weren’t you careful)
The impact of the crash (Did you get a ticket)
It’s all your fault
It’s all your fault
It’s all your fault
It’s all your fault
And now I’m here
And I guess I’m glad
But all that fear
Can’t be all too bad
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7. |
What?
01:05
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What did you say?
Could you repeat that?
Had my attention divided
18 different ways
I got some texts
I got some pics
I got some gifs
My bad I meant g(j)ifs
Did you say something?
What did ya say?
Were you talking to me?
I thought you were
What did you say?
What did you say?
I just want to be heard
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8. |
It was nothing
05:34
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I’m way too quiet
I’ll murmur every word
And even when I shout
I’m still never heard
My words won’t sink in
A dead silence proceeds
They’ll ask me to repeat it
They’ll ask me to repeat it
Can I have a voice?
One that’s bellows through an opera house.
I just want a voice
To harmonize and stay in tune
I know I’m talking to myself
I know I’m answering my own questions
But I don’t know how to bring it up
Because the one listening aren’t the ones that need to hear it
Should this even matter to me? (I guess not)
But I can’t seem to shake it off (Of course you can)
But I’m my only foe
And they still won’t listen to me
No matter how loud I scream and shout
I need to leave this broken nest
And find a new place that was always home
Have I finally found a voice?
I guess that’s up to me
I’m scared to have a voice
I’m not sure if I want to speak
Have I finally found a voice?
Now they’re all looking at me
I’m scared to have a voice
What if they got the wrong idea
Wait. I might have missed it but, were you saying something?
No... it was nothing
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9. |
Where am I?
09:59
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It’s so hard to see
It’s getting hard to breathe
The fog thickens the further I seem to walk
The only thing I feel is the grass between my toes
There’s nothing up ahead
There’s nothing creeping behind me
I start to see a figure forming from the shroud
It draws me closer yet I still can’t make it out
It’s never getting closer
I’m never getting closer
A mirror appears before me
Showing things I don’t want to see
And when I try to turn away
They keep finding a way to fix the image right in front of my eyes
The monster is in front of me now
It still shares my shy demeanor
It’s still unsure to provoke me with its horn
Its hooves keep shaking at the fears unknown
Where is home?
It’s not the apartment I sleep in
It’s not the place where my parents live
I can’t say I’ve ever lived there before
The mirror finally turns away
Disappointment finds its nest in me
It turns back to have me meet myself again
The image is something unimaginable
The rotting corpse rears its face up at me
At first the sight was so frightening
Yet it could barely stand
Bracing the collapse that would surely follow
I haven’t moved an inch since these visions
Then how did it seem to get closer?
The figure towers over me
The shadow makes me blend in with every blade of grass
I’m not sure how long I’ve been stuck here
But it feels like time is still
I can see what’s up ahead
But the fogs seems to thicken as I approach
My reflection appears again
There’s nothing strange within the mirror
I try to look back at the figure that’s still obscured
But the mirror keeps getting in the way
It’s unsettling to see myself for once
The dreadful, dead stare with bags under the eyes
Then I try to smile to change the image
But the image doesn’t change to my mask
Where am I?
The place feels so familiar
But the fog changes its meaning
It’s all changing but the image remains the same
It’s hard to see
I don’t want to see
It’s getting hard to breathe
I can barely hold it in
And the whole scene stops
The leaves stay suspended in the air
The fog dissipates
And the picture’s finally clear
I just look down
Hoping the tears blur my sight
But as I raise my head towards it
It finally makes sense now
Move on
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10. |
Move on
05:42
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I’ve been rambling on for way too long
Hell I was so torn up I wrote too many songs
And I don’t feel better
In fact I’m emptier than before
Re-watching every moment that’s passed
It holds a stronger meaning with each view
It’s getting hard to head to bed
I can’t keep these thoughts locked up
The fog surrounds me again
It’s great to be in this fearful dream
It’s getting harder to wake up
With five more minutes I can surely forget
My head is stuck in the past
I know it’s something so cliché
Did it matter what the songs were about?
Or was it just an excuse to break the band apart?
Are the songs I’m writing now even justified to sing?
Or is it some self-indulgent affair?
I’m not ready for what comes next
Even though I know what needs to be said
I need to move on
Rip off the bandage and endure the pain
It’ll be hard to move on
All these questions still plaguing my head
It’s time to move on
Get out of the rut and get myself some fresh air
I need to move on
Enjoy the seasons and make sure not to fall
I need to be real honest
I’ve held in so much pain
I really needed someone
But I guess you never came
I was lucky to have them around me
But the moments were so short
It’s nothing personal
But it’s time to say goodbye
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MASK Clermont, Florida
A band going one strong!
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